According to the author Gary Chapman, love has five languages: gift giving, quality time, words of affirmation, acts of service (devotion) and physical touch. According to him, we all have a primary and secondary language. You can find out yours by visiting his site and taking a quiz on http://5lovelanguages.com.
It is always good to discover yourself in different dimensions as you get to fully appreciate who you are and know how to relate with others. But if you are in a romantic or marital relationship, it is equally important to know your partner’s love language and what makes him/her tick. When you and your partner speak the same language, then you already have a lot of hurdles out of the way.
But most often than not, one would define expression of love differently from the other. Whiles guys would probably lean more towards gift giving and physical touch, some ladies would prefer words of affirmation, quality time and acts of service. If these disparities are not quickly identified and rectified, both parties would feel dissatisfied in the relationship and could lead to its breakdown.
Gift giving is self-explanatory; it’s the act of showing affection by showering gifts on the object of your affection.
Quality time refers to spending some memorable time with a significant other; it doesn’t have to be a fancy outing-just being together feels fulfilling.
Words of affirmation are those words that uplift one’s mood and heart especially when it comes from those we care about like the famous ‘I love you’, ‘I’m proud of you’, ‘You mean a lot to me’, etc.
Acts of service refers to the help your partner would offer you in times you need them even when you haven’t asked him/her to; even when it is something he/she doesn’t like to do. Actions speak louder than words, they say. Sometimes, saying that you care doesn’t carry as much weight as showing that you do care.
Physical touch is the intimate touch shared by two people; could be a hug, kiss, holding hands etc. In stressful or emotionally charged moments, a touch from the right person can help one feel better.
All five are significant and so should be treated as such. The fact that you are strong in one or two of them doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try to develop the others in relation to what languages your partner understands. If one thinks it’s by buying his wife the latest car model that he’s communicating his love whereas the wife wishes that he makes the effort to spend time with her at home, there’s a missing link somewhere. Until they communicate and come to a compromise, each party will feel discontented; the man-unappreciated and the woman, unloved.
So what should couples do? Communicate, communicate, communicate! Find out what each other wants and work it out.
Love is surely a beautiful thing-don’t allow misinterpretation of expression ruin it for you.
